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The Legacy Project Lessons for Living from the Wisest Americans Menu Home About the Project Methods Share Your Lessons for Living Through A Crisis The Books Press Speaking Post navigation ← Older posts April’s Lessons: Savoring the Present Moment Posted on April 1, 2024 by Admin Appropriately for the month we’re in, April, 63, sent us a list of lessons that reflect an imortant idea: Savoring the small things each day that make life pleasant. (In fact, research shows that practicing an attitude of savoring in daily life leads to greater happiness.) April suggests we selectively look for positive experiences each day. Find the poetry in life. Acknowledge the gift of the five senses and focus on what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what you touch, what you taste. This morning I looked past the yellow, white and orange spring pansies on the deck to the fox hole dug into the hillside. The four kits poked their heads out daringly as the mother fox stood guard. I filtered the world’s news to hear of the children romping at the White House scooping their colored hard-boiled eggs down the South Lawn. I listened for the resurgence of a dream as at 46 someone competes in the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. I smelled the rich Irish cream coffee brewing in the kitchen as my feet touched the chilled wood floor. I wrapped myself in my comfortable fleece bathrobe and bit into the warm, buttered wheat toast. To see, to hear, to smell, to touch, to taste with clarity and discernment—that is the poetry at each turn. Posted in How To Be Happy , Lists For Living | Leave a comment Happiness Made Simple: 5 Elders on Savoring the Small Things in Life Posted on March 17, 2024 by Admin As part of the Legacy Project, we conducted a national survey of older people. I recently was looking through the hundreds of lessons these elders provide, and I was struck by one particular point. When it comes to happiness, many of the elders urge us to think small.” They are thankful for what they have, right now, rather than pinning their happiness on future achievements or possessions. I’m thinking that many younger people could benefit from this perspective. Here are five simple pieces of advice for happier living: Everybody says that you should make a goal in your life, but I don’t think that’s always necessary because you make a goal and the first thing you know, you switched over to something else. All I wanted to do was be a mother, and I did. I had three boys and three girls and my husband made a living for us, we did fairly well, all of our children are still living and they’re happy, so I’m happy. (Roseann, 79) Every morning when I wake up, I thank God that at 75 years old I’m able to get up, take my shower, go about my business, by my groceries or go to work or whatever I do, I’m very thankful for that. (Lavonne, 75) Just take life in stride, I guess, do the best you can. Enjoy, if you can afford it, living; going out and treating yourself to a few luxuries, like maybe going out to dinner, going for a ride, or something like that. (Abel, 77) Be grateful for each day that you wake up. (Roman, 84) To live a decent life, a comfortable life, and that basically makes me happy. (Luann, 81) Posted in How To Be Happy | 1 Comment Before You Commit, Take a Look at Your Future In-Laws Posted on January 25, 2024 by Admin Sometimes the elders had a lesson really surprised me. When I asked them about their advice for selecting a future spouse, I didn’t expect to hear this one: Take your partner’s family into consideration! They point out that looking at potential future in-laws carefully can be an important safeguard against making the wrong choice. And the time to ponder this issue is before the wedding. For Bonnie, 73, incompatibility with her husband’s family was a serious source of unhappiness. I married someone whose family just never accepted me, and this also applied to some of the other relatives that came into the family as in-laws. I was interested in meeting all kinds of people growing up and I didn’t grow up in a big household, so I thought this relationship with his extended family was eventually going to be very workable. But it really wasn’t. Once I was in the marriage, that didn’t really work out that well, and there was no way I could leave. I think I would have been consumed by guilt at the time. So I stayed in the marriage. For Gloria, 77, her future husband’s family was a plus. I liked my in laws. And I think it’s a very simple thing but I would say to somebody contemplating marriage, if there are any frictions between you and the others in the family, look at it really hard because you’re going to be together for a long time. Your children are going to intermingle and when there’s cross words, it breaks the family apart. And I learned this from him and his family. He was very considerate of them, he went to see them every Sunday afternoon for a couple of hours. And then on Wednesday night we would all meet and we would have dinner together, and I think having meals not only with your spouse when you get married is important, you need to go back and have it with other members of your family. Phyllis, 84, supported the view that observing a future partner’s family is diagnostic of their own behavior: I think don’t make fast decisions. Make sure that you get to know the other person’s family because there may be some values there that you don’t realize when you’re just meeting the person. But when you meet the family, you think oh, now is that going to be an issue? Also, you get to observe that person with their family and how they get along with their family. If they don’t get along with their family and they’re miserable to their family, how will they be to you? Make sure that you get to know the person in a variety of situations. Perhaps some of my perspective is based on of my kids, who I don’t think is married particularly well, but that was her choice. And the family, there, is part of the problem. Posted in Love and Marriage | Leave a comment Want to Avoid Regret? Stay Out of Debt! Posted on November 28, 2023 by Admin The news tells us that Americans are finallly getting more cautious about getting into debt. Our elders, many of whom lived through the Great Depression, think it’s about time! One of their strongest lessons is to save up the money before you buy something – or your may regret it. Here’s what some of the elders interviewed for 30 Lessons for Living told me: What should young people avoid? Credit card debt. They’ve got to have the instant gratification thing. I struggle with my granddaughter about it all the time because she doesn’t have the patience. She’ll get way in debt for something she’s gotta have and I keep saying: You’re not ready for this, you don’t have a good down payment.” And also, I want her to have a cushion because sometimes it takes a while in between jobs, and she’s just not prepared to do that. She’s just like; Well I know I’m going to have this job always.” Well, my first husband; in ten years of marriage, he had thirteen different jobs. And we had three small children and it was very nerve-wracking. (Evette, 83) One of the things that I would tell any young person was save a little money every week for yourself. Make sure those few dollars a week are put away because that compounds and at the end of fifty years you’re going to have a nice nest egg if you pay yourself first. We have granddaughters that are paying off student loans that are just out of sight. They both worked as waitresses and if they had put aside a few dollars a week for themselves, they might not be struggling so much. (Pru, 75) Unfortunately, I never had the money to save when I was in my twenties. That’s what I say to my kids now. I say that I wish I could have started saving when I was their age, when they’re in their twenties and like that. If you’ve saved money, like I stress that younger people should do, and then you can really relax when you get...